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By
: May Titthara, Pictures Contributed by : Venerable Ly Sovy.
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Sampeah Phtum - The couples
go to the bride's house to pray to deceased ancestors.
Pictures contributed by Venerable Ly Sovy
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A Khmer
man cannot simply take a wife without going through
the proper customary procedures. Traditionally,
one has to go through four rituals to claim a wife.
First, Pithy Chechouv requires the help of a respectable
woman, a matchmaker of sort (usually an elderly
person) who would go to make the first 'inquiry'
(to seek information) from the mother of the girl
in question. Provided that she gets an affirmative
response, the matchmaker would inquire for the birth
details of the girl - usually the time, day, month
and year of birth is required. This information,
together with the man's birth details, is then handed
over to an Achar (a priest) who will see if indeed
the couple's birth details are compatible. If so,
the man's family would then send a Chhmay (Mediator)
to make a formal proposal. This procedure is known
as Pithy Sdei Dundoeung. This may sometimes require
more than one visit and each time the mediator will
call upon the girl's family with some small gifts
to establish a good relationship. If all goes well
and the girl's family accepts the marriage proposal,
then the families would fix a date to perform the
Pithy Si Slar Bangchoap Peak.
The Si Slar Bangchoap Peak is a betel chewing ritual
performed as |
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testimony to
the agreement of marriage. This ceremony has to be well
arranged. Friends and relatives of the both parties are
invited to witness the occasion and it is customary for
the groom's side to bring fruits and other forms of gifts
in pairs to the bride's house. Normally by this time,
the groom's family would have already established and
agreed with the bride's family on the amount of dowry
necessary and bring it along to the ceremony at the bride's
house. Here the parents from both sides would ceremoniously
chew and exchange betel leaves to seal their agreement
to the marriage. During the ritual, the parents ask the
groom to thank and serve the mediator and all the people
who are there assist. The families then would decide on
an auspicious date for the wedding ceremony.
Wedding Ceremony-Day 1
The morning session:
A mediator formally requests a meeting with the parents
to ask for their authorization to build the wedding hall
-- known officially as "the hall of the areca flower".
He asks for a meadow for buffaloes to graze; a forest
to provide firewood and a pond to draw water from. Everything
can be done only with the authorization of the parents. |
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Parents from both sides exchange
Mloo Slar
(betel nut wrapped in betel leaf)
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Afternoon
session:
The mediator and an Achar (a priest) ask for a meeting
with the parents to request permission to prepare
the rituals for entering the wedding hall including
the beating of the gong and of the big drum to play
music; dance and sing according to tradition. When
the parents agree, they mention a chosen time and
obey accordingly. Then they ask for permission to
discuss the programs for the second and third day.
Wedding Ceremony-Day 2
Morning session:
At 5.00a.m the Achar prepares a ritual to
pray to the "Krong Pealie", the Deity
who takes care of the earth, to seek recognition
for the groom to be accepted as a newcomer (family
member) and offers best wishes and good luck.
At 7.00a.m A woman mediator goes and meets
the parents to customarily perform one more |
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Chewing Betel Ritual
Pictures contributed by Kry Sovannary.
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ritual of
a formal marriage proposal;
Two trust worthy ladies are assigned to look at
the presents (dowry, etc..) to see if they are according
to the parent's wishes and they are given priority
to decide on the wedding.
The two ladies inspect the presents and report back
to the parents. If the presents are in order, the
ritual of the procession to the bride's house takes
place. This ritual is a representation of the determination
to formalize the wedding. Then it is the time for
offering "thang rorng" (square betel container
used in the wedding ceremony) which symbolizes the
betel chewing.
Following which, they perform the ritual of offering
food to the spirits of the ancestors to inform the
ancestors of the date of the wedding and to seek
their blessings.
Afternoon session:
At about 1 or 2 pm, it is the time for the
groom's procession to the areca-palm tree. This
is |
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the ritual of areca
flower cutting, accompanied by the wedding music.
Once the areca flowers are gathered, the groom's procession
returns to the wedding hall -- "the hall of the areca
flower" |
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Preparation
of hair-cutting ritual.
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Hair Cutting Ritual - Venerable
(Achar) seen here performing the symbolic ritual
on a groom.
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According
to the Venerable Ly Sovy of the Langkar Pagoda in
Phnom Penh, "Most parents nowadays allow the
groom to do all customary rituals at the bride's
house to save time, but they have still to respect
the Khmer traditional proceedings."
In the ritual of the "hair-cutting", Achar
Ly Sovy further explained, "The parents allow
the groom to sit side by side with the bride, but
do not permit him to sit on her right hand side,
but he is allowed to sit on her left side and they
should avoid touching each other and the ritual
of the hair-cutting signifies the cleaning of the
body generally since people in the past sport longer
hair and appear untidy. Nowadays, the hair-cutting
ritual is only symbolic and not true. Besides only
their own family member can perform the symbolic
ritual of the haircut, because they afraid someone
else might murder the groom." "If the
rituals are related to happiness and prosperity
from the gods such as offering food to the Krong
Pealie, (Deity who takes care of the earth) and
the hair-cutting, the parents authorize the salutation
to face eastwards, but if it is |
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related to monks,
deceased ancestors or a living ancestor such as asking
for the monks' blessing and food offering to the ancestor
spirits......etc, they must face south," Venerable
Ly Sovy explained.
Evening session: |
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The ritual
of "the monks' blessing".
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This "monks' blessing"
ritual is carried out first for the bride and then for
the groom. The ritual of the "monks blessing"
is when the parents allow the bride to sit in the middle
section of the house, facing south, The groom is located
at the side, but a little behind the bride's seat, facing
in the same direction. The ritual of "food offering
to the ancestor sprit", Presently, this ritual only
takes place in the western parts of Takeo and Kampot provinces.
Most parents still prefer to have these same ancient rituals.
But in some other place in former times, parents allowed
the bride to sit in the middle section, called Laveng
Chan facing the south. When the ritual is finished for
the bride, the groom is authorized to do the ritual in
the side, called Laveng Chhieng, facing the same direction.
At midnight:
The parents order the preparation of the ritual of "teeth
staining" following after an ancient belief that
a righteous woman should have stained teeth. The bride
is made to chew Leak, a natural substance that produces
a harmless dye that stains her teeth. This ritual is prepared
only for the bride in order to grant righteousness and
to wish her happiness. From hence, when she talks to people,
her smooth voice makes her more charming and everyone
likes her and there is no quarrelling with anybody. Also,
the intention is to bring their daughter a greater understanding
about life and its issues when she will also be living
with others.
The ritual of "teeth staining" also includes
several other different small rituals.
Final Ceremony -Day3
The ritual of the married couple's greeting (Sampeah Phtum).
This greeting ritual is a procession of the groom to the
bride's house. The couples go to the bride's house to
pray to deceased ancestors. They also both show their
respect to the living grandparents and receive their blessings
for a happy and joyful life. This ritual includes several
different small rituals as well.
"Three days after the wedding, the new couple must
go to the pagoda to receive blessings from the monks,"
concluded the elderly Achar Sovy. |
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